If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
