Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
