You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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