So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
