He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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