I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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