did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
