I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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