as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize