I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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