It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
