LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
