i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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