Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
