i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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