....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
