I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
