Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
