My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
