Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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