drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
