i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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