those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
farters have to be the big spoon...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
