and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize