Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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