Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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