Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
