There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
