smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
