No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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