Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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