I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
