I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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