i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
