I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
