was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
