Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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