I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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