You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
