Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My vagina just recognized that song.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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