...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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