Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I love having hate sex.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
