pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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