He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
