Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
