Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
