Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
