Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
