I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
