This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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