her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You may now shotgun with the bride
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
