I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
