it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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