And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
