When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
