i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
