why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
