I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
