A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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