Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
