Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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