If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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