Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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